A Response to my 2017 Self

For those of you who have been with this blog since the beginning, or have read my posts from the the beginning, I’m going to make an addendum to the very first post I ever posted on this blog. If you haven’t read it, I’ll link it here, and I suggest taking a scan through it just so you can see where I’m coming from with this post.

It’s now 2019, and after being in college for a few years, I feel like I’ve gone through many experiences, ups and downs, positives and negatives, and after reading my Bible and praying, I had some thoughts shown to me that I’d like to share.

So, in my initial post I was speaking about the fact that at my old job I was always getting customers who would call me an inspiration for simply being able to do my mediocre job and they were only saying this because I was in a wheelchair. While I still stand by the fact that being able to hold a mediocre job while in a wheelchair doesn’t make me an inspiration, I don’t fully support the idea that the title is accurate anymore.

I titled the post “There is no ‘me’ in Inspiration”, and while in the context of being a normal human being with a job doesn’t make me inspiring, I’ve realized that there is another path that I’ve felt called to in which I can be inspiring, and in which a lot of other people I’ve met who aren’t in wheelchairs are also considered inspiring.

I recently joined a different small group on my campus and through getting to know all of the people on the team I’ve gotten to hear many different stories of both triumph and struggle throughout our walks with God. It’s realistic, authentic and the inspiration I feel called to.

Through sharing my shaky past experiences and my watery testimony that is still very much a work in progress, there have been many times where certain sentences I’ve said to the other ladies on my team have come across as “inspiring” to them, and while they may have seemed trivial to me, realizing that a walk in faith is a struggle even for the best of us and that as Christians we’re all just trying our best, and stumbling and desperately failing in our attempts for Christ, helps me to realize that my inspiration can come from fearlessly pursuing Christ.

I may not feel like I’m doing my best, and even at my best there are still things I’m falling short on, but the disciples in the Bible were never perfect, and yet Christ still called on them to use them for His Purpose. They weren’t perfect and they also weren’t in wheelchairs. They were people just like those around us who felt a calling and answered it, and were willing to learn along the way because they knew and understood that Our God is Faithful in his pursuit of us and He is merciful and forgiving of our sins.

On my own, I am not inspiring. I am broken from this world and the hardships that I fall into on the daily, but through God, I am Healed and set on a path with the purpose to inspire others not for who I am, but for who He is.

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XOXO- Dellie